Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Advent of Internet: Why God?

I would like for you to spend a few seconds imagining what the world would be like without the internet.

A life without endless pictures of cats, if you can call that living.

That was pretty bad, wasn't it?

Simply put, the internet is multiple computers sharing information with each other; multiple computers telling each other "1" or "0".

And we have somehow made the existence of modern society depend on it.  So maybe a "1" is sent to a computer instead of a "0", causing a glitch.  What happens? Airports are shut down.

But ideally they never do that.  So lets say that you make a investment program that makes the most economic and efficient decisions. It works perfectly.  What happens?  The stock market plummets.

Oh internet.  We can't live with you, and we can't live without you.

I have always said that the invention of the internet will cause the end of the world.

We have embedded our life into this relatively young technology (it has been around since 1969, compared the millions of years everything else has been around) at frightening rate.  Back in the day, when you needed money from your bank account, you actually had to go to the bank and withdraw it, because a bank was kind of secure place to keep it.  Now your hard earned cash is held safely behind the eight character password of your choosing.  I sure hope no one knows the street you grew up on, and your year of birth!

Hell, if someone just knows a few public things about you, then they are going to be all up in your email account.

And social interactions.  Remember those?  Before facebook and text messaging, you actually had to talk to other people, face to face! Communicate with actual words! Can you believe that?  When you wanted to call someone a douchebag, you actually had to say it with your mouth, not your fingers.

And this only goes so far.

So the internet is in control of our money, and had made us social networking pussies.  What could be worse?

More.  A lot more.

Back in the mid eighties, a fad involving anthropomorphic creatures was really catching on.  A few magazines were being circulated, and a few social gatherings were planned here and there.  But it was hard to find other people in this "Furry fandom" without everyone knowing your dark secret.  But in the mid-nineties, people discovered that finding other furries was an AOL chatroom away.

I personally blame the internet for the explosion of furries in the world.

But there are worse things.

In 2003, a teenage boy decided to create a website where he and his friends could talk about anime.  Soon his friends were inviting their friends, and they invited their friends, and so on and so forth.  Now we have one of the busiest and notorious websites out there: 4chan.  All because you can post anonymously, behind the proxy of your keyboard.

So is there good in the internet?  Yeah.  But as soon as people could pretend to be someone else is when things got out of control.  So what should you do?  The obvious answer is to liquidate everything you have and live in the mountains.  Then the only thing you have to worry about is bears.



  1. I think the same could be said about phones of recent years, especially since the ability to tweet and browse facebook was given to anyone who had a 'smart'phone. Of course, phones are very import in every day life. However, seeing everyone, including grown-ass men, sucked into these tiny little electronics while they type away with both thumbs about God knows what, being completely oblivious to the world around them.. it just makes me rage.

  2. I can't agree with all of this, but I will agree with most. I guess that the internet was the cause for the evil of furries to be truly unleashed upon the world. I'd rather deal with bears than furries...unless it was a really weird furry who'd have something for the bear, then we're down one furry.

  3. I remember a time there was no Internet. It sucked.

  4. Interesting ideas, I like to read these types of satire. I will check back often.

  5. It's hard to think that the internet is only about 20 years old. I wish I was here for the earlier days.

  6. I often wonder what people did back like, 20 years ago, wen most people didn't even have cellpones. They had to wait at their land lines all day if they had an important call or something. I don't think i could live in such a world